Thursday, November 25, 2010

I am thankful for traches

For much of the past 5 months I have felt like Maaike's trach was my enemy. Such a small thing has changed our lives so drastically. The plan was always that Maakie and I would fly back to China to Sid and the kids until the trach came into play. It was our pediatrician in China that told us not to bring her back. "They (doctors in China) have maybe seen one or two traches in little kids before, if ever. Its just too risky. If anything went wrong..." And so we sold and packed up everything we owned... again. There are days when I look at sweet Maaike and pray that we made the right decision. Sometimes I still can't believe that we let them do this to our little girl, something so barbaric. But then I think back on the day when I went to the hospital to consult on Maaike's sleep study results. "Only 10% of her air way is usable...she is working so hard to breath you'll be looking at heart failure...its really the only option we have left..." That was a bad day.
But now, almost five months out from her surgery, I can see her, just Maaike, no trach, when I look at her. I am enjoying this baby stage like I never did before. Maybe its because we are forced to be home so I have to/get to take the time to enjoy her. Maybe its because the possibility of losing her seemed much more real with her. Maybe its because her beautiful fuchsia lip makes her smile pop out that much more. Or maybe its a gift for moms with babies who have special needs. No matter. I am loving being a mom more than ever and if its a trach we need to have Maaike here with us then a trach we will have. I am so thankful for traches.

6 month stats:
13.9 lbs (16th percentile! up from the 6th)
27.2 inches (95th percentile! up from 93rd)

1 comment:

  1. I realize this post is from 2010, but my daughter is 7 weeks old and getting a trach on Monday. I'm so scared, but mainly for me and how our home life will change. This trach for her, means life and growing and coming home for the very first time. Thank you for blogging about your experience.